Having plenty in what I don’t have
For those of you who have been following my instagram ( Thanks for following!) you probably saw a post of me celebrating the month of May because Dr. J finally has an outpatient rotation!
Hearing he has an outpatient rotation is seriously music to my ears! Sorta like honey to my lemonade! haha I love lemonade btw.
For the most part, outpatient rotations take place in clinic settings and require less hours compared to inpatient rotations. Outpatient rotations are generally less intense and the schedule is more regular. For Dr. J, months like this mean the great pleasure of experiencing So-cal rush hour traffic because he is able to come home by 6pm, and getting almost every ( pinch me!) weekend off!!! The fact that he can come home more than 3 times a week is making me dance circles around him. I was so excited today that for the first time in our marriage I personally went downstairs to open the garage door when I heard his car approaching and greeted him like an eager puppy (true story).
I’ve been waiting for this specific month for nine months.. Basically for nine long months, my husband has been rotating through only inpatient rotations. It made his second year of residency seem significantly busier than his intern year ( first year). For almost 2 months straight, he was not able to go to church at all or really hangout with our friends. I wouldn’t be surprised if he got greeted as a new comer by the welcome team. So all this probably gives you more context to why I AM SO HAPPY IT’S FINALLY MAY! 4 weeks of bliss! (I don’t know how moms with babies and children do it, but I admire you all! Teach me your ways when its my turn please!!! )
Its so interesting though, how easily and fast the human heart naturally gravitate towards discontentment and complaining. Only five days into May, I found myself grumbling and growing discontent. It started off with just yearning for more months like this one and soon spiraled into a full blown pity party. Why nine long months of taking my husband away from me and only one month of “regular” life?! why?!!! ” Its soo unfair..” ” Who is doing the scheduling anyways..sheesh!” I know this probably sounds super immature and dramatic, but I felt gypped.
Despite my huffing and puffing ungratefulness, God remained faithful and reminded me that perspective is everything. My pastor once shared that a cure to a discontent heart is through thankfulness. For example, we often complain about the mountain of chores we need to get done, but a perspective of thankfulness can open our eyes to seeing that mountain of laundry as God’s providence in faithfully clothing us from the cold, or that large load of dirty dishes as Him blessing us with enough so we don’t have to go to bed hungry.
It is definitely not my first inclination to choose to be grateful but I know I need to start somewhere with exercising my thankfulness muscle. I decided to make a list of things I was grumbling about and how a perspective change could show me just how much I truly have. I actually have plenty! More than I deserve. I will share part of my list below 🙂
- Complaint: My husband is always working. I don’t get enough time with him. Perspective Change: God has graciously blessed my husband with a job and a way to support our family. Praise God that my husband is passionate about his job and able to enjoy what he is doing. Enjoyment itself is grace from the Lord. ( Ecclesiastes 2:24)
- Complaint: More outpatient months.. less inpatient. Perspective Change: Inpatient rotations involve a lot of hands on experience and is equipping my husband to take care of really sick patients. This is not only beneficial for his training, but we also pray for opportunities for the gospel to be shared since he spends more time with these patients.
- Complaint: I wish he can go to church more.. Perspective Change: Praise God we have a church to go to. Praise God Dr. J has something to look forward to on the Sundays he gets off.
- Complaint: There is not enough days/weekends in the month of May to schedule all our hangouts and catch up with people. Perspective Change: Wow! What a great problem to have. Praise God for friends. Praise God for community. Praise God for people who want to invest in us. Praise God that our May is basically all booked up. We are really loved.
- Complaint: I don’t like eating dinner by myself.. * pity party* Perspective Change: Dinner for two feels like date night every night during outpatient months! 🙂 Also being alone opens up great opportunities for me to reach out to friends or practice hospitality by having people over.
- Complaint: I wish May could last longer. Its already going by so fast.. Perspective Change: Thank you God for using this month of May to teach me the lessons above. Every outpatient months moving forward will be viewed with renewed sweetness.
To wrap things up, I leave you with an article detailing the ultimate perspective change in human history: http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/why-we-call-the-worst-friday-good
Thank you for reading!
With much thankfulness,