Sincerely, Wife of a Husband Working in Entertainment: Linda’s Story
Today, we will be hearing from my friend Linda! We very recently reconnected over Facebook and thats when she shared with me that her husband works in the entertainment field and has quite the unconventional schedule. I was super excited to have her share her experiences with us. Linda’s perspective is definitely really encouraging and I appreciate her thoughtful responses to each question I asked. Read along and I know you will feel the same way as well.
Fun fact: Linda and I got married on the exact same day! Approaching two years this December 🙂
Q. Please share a little bit about yourself and your husband.
Linda: Austin and I met during our undergrad years at UCLA. We started dating about half a year after graduation, got engaged a year and a half after that, and then married about seven months after that. In total, we have been together for about 3.5 year!
I work in the education field and Austin works in entertainment. My work requires plenty of field work in multiple parts of Los Angeles, which has challenged me to become more organized with scheduling. Similarly, Austin’s work also requires him to travel to various cities in the Greater Los Angeles area.
Some of our favorite activities to do together are: running, fishing, hiking, traveling, and eating at restaurants with 4+ stars on Yelp.
Q. What parts of your husband’s job requires him to travel or be away from home for long period at a time?
Linda: Austin runs a small audiovisual business, where his role is to provide AV for corporate conferences, theater productions, church services, graduations, weddings, etc. In addition to that, he also works as a sound designer for theatrical plays and as a photographer for graduations and weddings. As you can read, Austin is involved in pretty much anything sound or photo related, all of which are located in the Greater LA area. Most of the events that Austin works for are in different locations and there is no fixed location with a fixed schedule.
I wish I can describe his typical work day, but I can’t. I also can’t describe a typical work week, month, or even year. There are instances when he gets called in to work a couple of hours before the start time, moments when he works overnight shifts, and times when there’s no work. There have been countless times where I’ve asked him, “How’s your schedule like for tomorrow?” His response is, “I don’t know.”
Q. What do you usually do to keep busy?
Linda: One answer: fellowship. I am thankful for all the younger and older sisters in Christ that He has surrounded me with! It is with these sisters that I can be transparent with the struggles, but at the same time, rejoice in God’s love and grace to us sinners who are so undeserving of our union and identity in Him!
Q. What are some of your struggles with a husband who travels frequently or is gone often? How has your faith played a role in your specific situation?
Linda: Marriage reveals the sins in our own hearts. It is through these struggles that the Holy Spirit convicted me of my own sins, which is elaborated below.
Expectations vs. Reality:
Before marriage, this was the picture that I had envisioned for us in marriage: frequent dates, evenings spent singing hymns and praying, listening to sermons every other day, and fellowship with other believers. Of course, this could only occur if our schedules matched perfectly. However, the reality was different from what I had envisioned: our dates were not as a frequent as what I had expected, most evenings were spent with friends, and some evenings spent in worship would be alone. Despite the differences in expectations, I am extremely thankful because it was through these differences that my sins were exposed. I learned that I accomplished the exact opposite of James 1:19. I became slow to hear, quick to speak, and quick to anger. I am thankful for my husband’s patience as I dealt with the sins in my heart. Even when he comes back tired from long work hours, he still chose to respond with patience. It is only by God’s grace that these sins are revealed so that I may continue to be conformed into the image of His Son.
Scheduling vs. Flexibility:
Austin handles his constantly changing schedule with grace. On the other hand, I cling on tightly to my organized schedule that grace is almost nonexistent when there’s a change in my schedule. It was difficult to schedule dates with him because on some occasions, it would not fall through. However, it was through this struggle that the Holy Spirit convicted me of idolatry and pride: organizing my color-coded, tetris-like Google calendar (idol) and fulfilling my schedule planned months in advance (pride). It was my Google calendar idol that led me to “calendarize” our marriage. It was this sinful pride that led to my discontentment with Austin’s answer of “I don’t know”. However, God is so gracious in revealing these sins to me because it showed a greater root sin, that is, my lack of trust in Him. I was not being flexible to my husband’s schedule, but even worse, I was not being flexible to the schedule that God had already designed for me. I am thankful to learn from how Austin handles flexibility and how that translates into him trusting in the Lord and the steps that He establishes.
Q: How do you find joy in your circumstances?
Linda: Worker at home! I find joy in striving to be obedient to our Heavenly Father by trying to fulfill our calling as a worker at home. It is always a joy when I hear Austin open the door and step into our apartment (even when its sometimes five minutes before my bedtime). Before Austin comes home, I enjoy organizing and cleaning the apartment so that the minute Austin walks home, there’s no need for him to worry about household chores. Of course, I am not perfect in this area since there’ve been many times where I come home too tired from work to do household work. But, there are times where I’m thankful that Austin comes back later from work since that gives me more time to clean 🙂